Subject: Letter of an NIOC employee in English !!!!

When an iranian writes in english
  
     This letter was written by an employee of the NIOC National, about
fifty years ago.  Someone pulled it out of the archive for laughs.  But the
name of the person who wrote this letter has been erased for secrecy.  
  
Dear Mr. Hamilton,
Hello sir, "I am your servent, very very much".  
  
I am writing to you because "all the way to the handle of the knife has
reached my bone.  "My hands grab your skirt", Mr. Hamilton, "Please reach my
scream", Mr. Hamiton, "from the hands of this man, Ahmady" .  I don't know
"what a wet wood I have sold him" that from the very first day he has been
"pulling the belt to my lift" With all kinds of "cat dancing" he has tried
to become the "eye and the light" of Mr.Wilson.
  
He made so much "mouse running" that finally Mr.Wilson "became donkey" , and
appointed Mr.Ahmadi as his right hand man, and told me to work "under his
hand"
  
Mr.Wilson promised me that next year he would make me his right hand man,
but "my eye didn't not drink water", and I knew that all these were "hat
play", and he was trying to put a "hat on my head" I "put the seal of
silence to my lips" and did not say anything. Since that he was just
"putting watermelon under my arms" Knowing that this transfer was only "good
for his aunt" , I started begging him to forget that I ever came to see him
and forget my visit altogether. I said "you saw camel, you did not see
camel" ... .but he was not "getting of the devils donkey".. ."what headache
shall I give you" I am now forced to work in the mail house with bunch of
"blind, bald, height and half height" people. "Imagine how much my ass
burns"
  
Now Mr.Hamilton, "I turn around your head" you are my only hope and my "back
and shelter"... ."I swear you to the 14 innocents" please "do some work for
me"...."in the resurrection day l'll grasp your skirt"... "I have six head
bread eaters" I kiss your hand and
Leg "
  
Your servant

Email

Email

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy cold winter. They both had jobs, and had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address and sent the e-mail without noticing his error.

In the mean time:
In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been "called home to glory" following a heart attack (died and gone to report in heaven). The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from family and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've arrived!

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF CONJUNCTIONS

A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF CONJUNCTIONS

A conjunction is a word that links words, phrases, or clauses. There are three types of conjunctions: coordinating conjunctions, correlative conjunctions, and subordinating conjunctions. Coordinating conjunctions may join single words, or they may join groups of words, but they must always join similar elements: e.g. subject+subject, verb phrase+verb phrase, sentence+sentence. When a coordinating conjunction is used to join elements, the element becomes a compound element. Correlative conjunctions also connect sentence elements of the same kind: however, unlike coordinating conjunctions, correlative conjunctions are always used in pairs. Subordinating conjunctions, the largest class of conjunctions, connect subordinate clauses to a main clause. These conjunctions are adverbs used as conjunctions.

The following tables show examples of the various types of conjunctions and some sample sentences using the conjunctions. Since coordinating conjunctions and correlative conjunctions are closed sets of words, all are included in the list. Subordinating conjunctions are a larger class of words; therefore, only a few of the more common ones are included in this list.

COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS

F	A	N	B	O	Y	S
for	and	nor	but	or	yet	so

An easy way to remember these six conjunctions is to think of the word FANBOYS. Each of the letters in this somewhat unlikely word is the first letter of one of the coordinating conjunctions. Remember, when using a conjunction to join two sentences, use a comma before the conjunction.

EXAMPLES AND SENTENCES

COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS

 

CONJUNCTION	WHAT IS LINKED	SAMPLE SENTENCES
and	noun phrase+noun phrase	We have tickets for the symphony and the opera.
but	sentence+sentence	The orchestra rehearses on Tuesday, but the chorus rehearses on Wednesday.
or	verb+verb	Have you seen or heard the opera by Scott Joplin?

CORRELATIVE CONJUNCTIONS

both...and

not only...but also

either...or

neither...nor

whether...or

Remember, correlative conjunctions are always used in pairs. They join similar elements.When joining singular and plural subjects, the subject closest to the verb determines whether the verb is singular or plural.

EXAMPLES AND SENTENCES

CORRELATIVE CONJUNCTIONS

CONJUNCTIONS	WHAT IS LINKED	SAMPLE SENTENCE
both...and	subject+subject	Both my sister and my brother play the piano.
either...or	noun+noun	Tonight's program is either Mozart or Beethoven.
neither...nor	subject+subject	Neither the orchestra nor the chorus was able to overcome the terrible acoustics in the church
not only...but also	sentence+sentence	Not only does Sue raise money for the symphony, but she also ushers at all of their concerts.

SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS

TIME	CAUSE + EFFECT	OPPOSITION	CONDITION
after	because	although	if
before	since	though	unless
when	now that	even though	only if
while	as	whereas	whether or not
since	in order that	while	even if
until	so		in case (that)

Subordinating conjunctions, (subordinators) are most important in creating subordinating clauses. These adverbs that act like conjunctions are placed at the front of the clause. The adverbial clause can come either before or after the main clause. Subordinators are usually a single word, but there are also a number of multi-word subordinators that function like a single subordinating conjunction. They can be classified according to their use in regard to time, cause and effect, opposition, or condition. Remember, put a comma at the end of the adverbial phrase when it precedes the main clause

EXAMPLES AND SENTENCES

SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS

CONJUNCTION	SAMPLE SENTENCE
after	We are going out to eat after we finish taking the test.
since	Since we have lived in Atlanta, we have gone to every exhibit at the High Musuem.
while	While I was waiting in line for the Matisse Exhibit, I ate my lunch.
although	Although the line was long and the wait over two hours, the exhibit was well worth it
even if	Even if you have already bought your ticket, you will still need to wait in line.
because	I love Matisse's works because he uses color so brilliantly.

RESOURCES:

• Azar, B. S.(1993). Understanding and Using English Grammar. Englewood Hills, NJ: Prentice Hall Regents.
• Byrd, P. and Benson, B. (1992). Applied English Grammar. Boston: Heinle & Heinle.
• Greenbaum, S. and Quirk, R. (1990). A Student's Grammar of the English Language. Essex, England: Longman.
• Hodges, J. and Whitten, M. (1984). Harbrace College Handbook. Atlanta: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich Publisher.

Would

سلام دوستان
شرمنده من سرم خیلی شلوغه دیر به دیر آپدیت می کنم

کیوان عزیز سوالی کرده بودن در رابطه با Would

کیوان جان عذر میهوام که دیر جواب میدم. اینم جواب سوال شما :


Verbs

Would



Would is a modal verb and like all others of its kind is followed by the infinitive without 'to' (Note: we consider that the modal verb 'ought to' is a single item, as the word 'ought' does not exist without the word 'to'):

Would is often contracted in spoken English to 'd.

*
I'd like to come with you, but I'm busy.
*
He'd sit all day watching the people go by.

Would is a very flexible word and has many uses.

In Grammar definitions would is briefly mentioned under conditionals and reported speech.

In our Grammar Archive see the use of used to and would for expressing habitual actions in the past.

Apart from this, would is also used in the following ways:

Conditionals

Would is used in a number of different forms of the conditional:

2nd conditional

*
If I went to China, I would visit the Great Wall.

3rd conditional

*
If she had studied harder, she would have passed her exams.

Mixed conditional

*
If he hadn't missed the bus, he would be here now.


Reported (indirect) speech

In indirect speech 'will' is reported as would:

*
I will be there! She said she would be there.
*
I won't be able to come with you on Saturday. He said he wouldn't be able to come with us on Saturday.
*
Will you do me a favour? She asked if I would do her a favour.


You can use would to ask people to do things:

*
Would you do me a favour?
*
Would you mind opening the window?

To offer or invite you can use Would you like …?

*
Would you like me to get you something while I'm at the shop?
*
Would you like to come with me to the cinema?


Future in the past

This structure is used to "express the idea that in the past you thought something would happen in the future."
#
When she was a teenager she knew she would be rich and famous.
#
It was at that moment that I knew they would win the game.





Common expressions

Would + like:

This structure is used to talk about things that we want or don't want to do:

*
Yes, I'd like to go with you.
*
I wouldn't like to be outside now.

Would rather

This structure is used to express preferences:

*
What would you rather do: go to the cinema or stay at home for the evening?
*
I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and sad.

سلام دوستان

رضا ی عزیز که همیشه لطف میکنه و از اینجا دیدن میکنه سوالی رو پرسیده در رابطه با listening

چطور میتونیم listening خودمون رو تقویت کنیم؟

راستش رضا جان این فقط مشکل شما نیست.این مشکل همه ی زبان آموزان است. حتی مشکل خود من.

ما هر چقدر هم که تلاش کنیم هیچوقت نمیتونیم مثل کسی که انگلیسی زبان مادری اونه باشیم.هیچوقت.

میتونیم روش کار کنیم و از زبان آموزان دیگه بهتر باشیم توlistening

یه استادی داشتم در قدیم (منظورم ۳ ساله پیشه) که می گفت : واسه اینکه در یادگیری این زبان خارجه موفق باشین باید اونو وارد زندگیه روزانتون بیارین.

منم همیشه اینو به همه توصیه میکنم.

حالا چطوری وارد زندگی روزانمون کنیم؟ خیلی راحته .کاری که من همیشه میکنم

موسیقی گوش کنین به زبان انگلیسی

تلویزیون نگاه کنین به زبان انگلیسی

رادیو گوش کنین مثل رادیو بی بی سی , رادیو صدای آمریکا

فیلم نگاه کنین به زبانان انگلیسی و...

اینا رودر زندگیه روزمره انجام بدین.

موفق و سر بلند باشین.

P.s. mitoonam dar morede film va music rahnamiitoon konam.

Happy new year

Happy New Year

May bring no tear to any eye 
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year

.

معجزه

سلام

این مطلب درسته با موضوع وبلاگ ربطی نداره اما اگه بخونین تا آخرش متوجه میشین چرا اینو اینجا پابلیش کردم

---

سارا هشت ساله بود که از صحبت پدرمادرش فهمید برادر کوچکش سخت مریض است و پولی هم برای مداوای آن ندارند.
پدر به تازگی کارش را از دست داده بود و نمیتوانست هزینهء جراحی پر خرج برادرش را بپردازد.
سارا شنید که پدر آهسته به مادر گفت فقط معجزه می تواند پسرمان را نجات دهد سارا با ناراحتی به اتاقش رفت و از زیر تخت قلک کوچکش را درآورد.
قلک را شکست. سکه ها رو رو تخت ریخت و آنها رو شمرد .فقط پنج دلار.
بعد آهسته از در عقبی خارج شد و چند کوچه رفت بالاتر به داروخانه رفت.
جلوی پیشخوان انتظار کشید تا دارساز به او توجه کند ولی داروساز سرش به مشتریان گرم بود بالاخره سارا حوصلش سر
رفت و سکه ها رو محکم رو شیشه پیشخوان ریخت.
داروساز جاخورد و گفت چه میخواهی؟
دخترک جواب داد برادرم خیلی مریضِ می خوام معجزه بخرم قیمتش چقدراست؟
دارو ساز با تعجب پرسید چی بخری عزیزم!!؟
دخترک توضیح داد برادر کوچکش چیزی در سرش رفته و بابام می گوید فقطمعجزه میتواند او را نجات دهد من هم می خواهم
معجزه بخرم قیمتش چقدر است.داروسازگفت:
متاسفم دختر جان ولی ما اینجا معجره نمی فروشیم.
چشمان دخترک پر از اشک شد و گفت شما رو به خدا برادرم خیلی مریض ِو بابام پول ندارد و این همهء پول من است. من از
کـــــجــا می توانم معجزه بخرم؟؟؟؟
مردی که گوشه ایستاده بود و لباس تمیز و مرتبی داشت از دخترک پرسید:چقدر پول داری؟
دخترک پولهارا کف دستش ریخت و به مرد نشان داد.مد لبخندی زد وگفت:
آه چه جالب!!!فکر میکنم این پول برای خرید معجزه کافی باشه.بعد به آرامی دست اورا گرفت و گفت من میخوام برادر و والدینت را ببینم فکر میکنم معجزهء برادرت پیش من باشه ان مرد دکتر آرمسترانگ فوق تخصص مغز و اعصاب در شیکاگو بود.فردای
آن روز عمل جراحی روی مغز پسرک با موفقیت انجام شد و او از مرگ نجات یافت. پس از جراحی پدر نزد دکتر رفت و گفت از شما متشکرم نجات پسرم یک معجزه واقعی بود،می خواهم بدانم بابت هزینهء عمل جراحی چقدر باید پرداخت کنم؟
دکتر لبخندی زد و گفت فقط 5 دلار.
شاد باشین

سلام

یکی از راههای یادگیری حرف زدنه

یعنی بایستی دوستانی داشته باشین که زبان مادری اونا انگلیسی باشه و با ائنا به انگلیسی چت کنین

میخوام امروز یه وب سایتی رو بهتون معرفی کنم که به راحتی میتونین دوستای زیادی پیدا کنین از تمام نقاط جهان

http://xuqa.com/challenge/cheese

بیاین و عضو شین

منتظرتون هستم

Return to Paradise

Eliza Riley

Return to Paradise

Lisa gazed out over the Caribbean Sea, feeling the faint breeze against her face - eyes shut, the white sand warm between her bare toes. The place was beautiful beyond belief, but it was still unable to ease the grief she felt as she remembered the last time she had been here.
     She had married James right here on this spot three years ago to the day. Dressed in a simple white shift dress, miniature white roses attempting to tame her long dark curls, Lisa had been happier than she had ever thought possible. James was even less formal but utterly irresistible in creased summer trousers and a loose white cotton shirt. His dark hair slightly ruffled and his eyes full of adoration as his looked at his bride to be. The justice of the peace had read their vows as they held hands and laughed at the sheer joy of being young, in love and staying in a five star resort on the Caribbean island of the Dominican Republic. They had seen the years blissfully stretching ahead of them, together forever. They planned their children, two she said, he said four so they compromised on three (two girls and a boy of course); where they would live, the travelling they would do together - it was all certain, so they had thought then.
     But that seemed such a long time ago now. A lot can change in just a few years - a lot of heartache can change a person and drive a wedge through the strongest ties, break even the deepest love. Three years to the day and they had returned, though this time not for the beachside marriages the island was famous for but for one of its equally popular quickie divorces.
     Lisa let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret. What could she do but move on, find a new life and new dreams? - the old one was beyond repair. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony she felt now?
     The man stood watching from the edge of the palm trees. He couldn't take his eyes of the dark-haired woman he saw standing at the water's edge, gazing out to sea as though she was waiting for something - or someone. She was beautiful, with her slim figure dressed in a loose flowing cotton dress, her crazy hair and bright blue eyes not far off the colour of the sea itself. It wasn't her looks that attracted him though; he came across many beautiful women in his work as a freelance photographer. It was her loneliness and intensity that lured him. Even at some distance he was aware that she was different from any other woman he could meet.

   Lisa sensed the man approaching even before she turned around. She had been aware of him standing there staring at her and had felt strangely calm about being observed. She looked at him and felt the instant spark of connection she had only experienced once before. He walked slowly towards her and they held each other's gaze. It felt like meeting a long lost friend - not a stranger on a strange beach.
     Later, sitting at one of the many bars on the resort, sipping the local cocktails they began to talk. First pleasantries, their hotels, the quality of the food and friendliness of the locals. Their conversation was strangely hesitant considering the naturalness and confidence of their earlier meeting. Onlookers, however, would have detected the subtle flirtation as they mirrored each other's actions and spoke directly into each other's eyes. Only later, after the alcohol had had its loosening effect, did the conversation deepen. They talked of why they were here and finally, against her judgement, Lisa opened up about her heartache of the past year and how events had led her back to the place where she had married the only man she believed she could ever love. She told him of things that had been locked deep inside her, able to tell no one. She told him how she had felt after she had lost her baby.
     She was six months pregnant and the happiest she had ever been when the pains had started. She was staying with her mother as James was working out of town. He hadn't made it back in time. The doctor had said it was just one of those things, that they could try again. But how could she when she couldn't even look James in the eye. She hated him then, for not being there, for not hurting as much as her but most of all for looking so much like the tiny baby boy that she held for just three hours before the took him away. All through the following months she had withdrawn from her husband, family, friends. Not wanting to recover form the pain she felt - that would have been a betrayal of her son. At the funeral she had refused to stand next to her husband and the next day she had left him. 

    Looking up, Lisa could see her pain reflected in the man's eyes. For the first time in months she didn't feel alone, she felt the unbearable burden begin to lift from her, only a bit but it was a start. She began to believe that maybe she had a future after all and maybe it could be with this man, with his kind hazel eyes, wet with their shared tears.
     They had come here to dissolve their marriage but maybe there was hope. Lisa stood up and took James by the hand and led him away from the bar towards the beech where they had made their vows to each other three years ago. Tomorrow she would cancel the divorce; tonight they would work on renewing their promises. 

     

سپندارمذگان مبارک

روز والنتاین یا سپندارمذگان

منبع: شبگردی

در ایران باستان، نه چون رومیان از سه قرن پس از میلاد، که از بیست قرن پیش از میلاد، روزی موسوم به روز عشق بوده است. در تقویم جدید ایرانی دقیقا مصادف است با ۲۹ بهمن، یعنی تنها ۳ روز پس از روز والنتاین فرنگی. این روز «سپندارمذگان» یا «اسفندارمذگان» نام داشته است.
 

در ایران باستان هر ماه را سی روز حساب می‌‌کردند و علاوه بر اینکه ماه ها اسم داشتند، هریک از روزهای ماه نیز یک نام داشتند. به‌عنوان مثال روز اول «روز اهورامزدا»، روز دوم، روز بهمن ( سلامت، اندیشه) که نخستین صفت خداوند است، روز سوم اردیبهشت یعنی «بهترین راستی و پاکی» که باز از صفات خداوند است، روز چهارم شهریور یعنی «شاهی و فرمانروایی آرمانی» که خاص خداوند است و روز پنجم «سپندارمذ» بوده است. سپندار مذ لقب ملی زمین است. یعنی گستراننده، مقدس، فروتن. زمین نماد عشق است چون با فروتنی، تواضع و گذشت به همه عشق می‌‌ورزد. زشت و زیبا را به یک چشم می‌‌نگرد و همه را چون مادری در دامان پر مهر خود امان می‌‌دهد. به همین دلیل در فرهنگ باستان اسپندارمذگان را به‌عنوان نماد عشق می‌‌پنداشتند. در هر ماه، یک بار، نام روز و ماه یکی می‌‌شده است که در همان روز که نامش با نام ماه مقارن می‌‌شد، جشنی ترتیب می‌‌دادند متناسب با نام آن روز و ماه. مثلاً شانزدهمین روز هر ماه مهر نام داشت و که در ماه مهر، «مهرگان» لقب می‌‌گرفت و مى بینیم که چگونه هر جشنى با معنى و مفهوم عمیق خود براى مردم شادى مى آفرید. روز آبان در ماه آبان جشن «آبان گان» است یعنى جشن ستایش آب و روز آذر در ماه آذر جشن «آذرگان» است یعنى جشن ستایش آتش و روز سپندارمزد جشن زمین و گرامیداشت مقام زن است که هر دو در کنار هم به این نام معنا مى دهند.

در این روز زنان و دختران بر تخت پادشاهى در خانه هاى خود مى نشستند و مردان و پسران خانواده از آنها اطاعت مى کردند و به آنان هدیه مى دادند.این یک یادآورى براى برادران و مردان بود تا خواهران و همسران خود را گرامى بدارند و چون یاد این جشن تا مدت ها ادامه داشت و بسیار باشکوه برگزار مى شد همواره این آزرم و احترام به زن براى مردان گوشزد مى گردید. همین طور روز پنجم هر ماه سپندارمذ یا اسفندار مذ نام داشت که در ماه دوازدهم سال که آن هم اسفندار مذ نام داشت، جشنی با همین عنوان می‌‌گرفتند.

سپندارمذگان جشن زمین و گرامی داشت عشق است که هر دو در کنار هم معنا پیدا می‌‌کردند. در این روز زنان به شوهران خود با محبت هدیه می‌‌دادند. مردان نیز زنان و دختران را بر تخت شاهی نشانده، به آنها هدیه داده و از آنها اطاعت می‌‌کردند.

ملت ایران از جمله ملت هایی است که زندگی اش با جشن و شادمانی پیوند فراوانی داشته است، به مناسبت های گوناگون جشن می‌‌گرفتند و با سرور و شادمانی روزگار می‌‌گذرانده اند. این جشن ها نشان دهنده فرهنگ، نحوه زندگی، خلق و خوی، فلسفه حیات و کلاً جهان‌بینی ایرانیان باستان است
 

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درسته ربطی به موضوع وبلاگ من نداره ولی خواستم این مطلب رو پابلیش کنم تا ...

احتیاج به همکار جهت پابلیش مطلب در ال ال ای

سلام دوستان عزیز

از عزیزانی که مایلند و میتوانند خواهشمندم که با من همکاری کنند البته در نوشتن این وبلاگ

لازم نیس حتما دانشجو یا فارغ التحصیل  زبان انگلیسی باشن.اگه میتونین هفته ای یکبار یه مطلب درباره زبان هر چی میتونه باشه یه داستان یه شعر یه نکته گرامری ...

هر چی فقط در رابطه با زبان انگلیسی باشه.

اگرکسی مایله از طریق وبلاگم به من ایمیل بده و اسم و رشته تحصیلی و اطلاعاتی در باره اینکه چگونه انگلیسی یاد گرفته رو بگه.

مرسی.

Thanks in advnce.

Happy Valentine

پروین: سلام

خواننده های وبلاگ پروین: علیک

 پروین: یه عذر خواهی واسه خاطر اینکه آپدیت نکردم به موقع.

خواننده های وبلاگ پروین: نه پروین جون خواهش میکنیم.مهم نیس.باس دیگه فول بدی سر وقت اپدیت کنی ، ok?

پروین: چشم ، حتما،فول میدم.

p.s Happy Valentine My Dear Readers

چند تا اس ام اس راجع به این روز:

Don't go for looks,
they can deceive
Don't go for wealth
even that fades away.

Go for sum1 who makes u
smile becoz only a smile makes
a dark day seem bright.. 
Happy Valentine

***

Smile in Pleasure
Smile in Pain
Smile when trouble pours like Rain
Smile when sum1 Hurts U
Smile becoz SOMEONE still
Loves to see u Smiling!!

Happy Valentine

***

All I wanted was sum1 2 care 4 me
All I wanted was sum1 who'd b there 4 me
All I ever wanted was sum1 who'd b true
All I ever wantedwas sum1 like U...

***

If Your asking if I Need U the answer is 4Ever..
If Your askin if I'll Leave U the answer is Never..
If Your askin what I value the Answer is U..
if Your askin if I love U the answer is I do.

یه شعر هم در وصف این روز سرودم  البته خیلی وقت پیش بود که این شعر رو سرودم .خوشحال میشم نظرتون رو دربارش بدونم.

 درضمن اگه میخواین درباره والنتاین بیشتر بدونین در سالهای قبل یه چیزایی نوشتم برین به این یخش:

Especial occasion

 

Dont give up

just hold tight

give me you hand and let the heart be mine

cause this is what i've wished so long

Essential expressions for managing a project in English

Essential expressions for managing a project in English

Whether you're a project manager or just a member of a project team, you can't avoid all the project management lingo flying around in offices around the world today. The problem is many of these expressions can't even be found in the dictionary. Just rely on our project management guide to learn today's office talk for tomorrow's projects!

Define the scope One of the first steps in project management is to determine the impact and the boundaries of a project, in other words creating the project scope. The scope should provide a description of the end products expected to be produced by the project.

Establish a timeline Next you should decide the time frame that specifies when each step of the project should be completed. By creating a timeline you will be able to know if you are on schedule throughout the life of the project.

Specify target outcomes How do you gauge the success of your project? It's important to specify target outcomes, or desired results that have measurable benefits, to use in determining your success

Determine necessary outputs Take time to think about the products, services, and business or management practices, otherwise known as outputs, that you will need in place in order to achieve your target outcomes.

Put a project team together People are the key to the success of your project. Select capable employees to take part in the project team - the team of people working together to accomplish the project - assigning appropriate roles to each.

Record milestones When members of the project team complete a scheduled key activity or task, make sure it is recorded. Milestones are either completed or not completed, and they can serve as a progress marker for the project.

Create baseline metrics Progress and performance should be evaluated using baseline metrics, which are a set of indicators that performance should be measured against.

Set a budget cost Determine how much you anticipate the project will cost, and set a budget cost at the start of the project. Later, you can refine your budget and make it more detailed.

Produce deliverables In order to ensure satisfaction of contractual requirements, you'll need to produce deliverables, such as reports or products that must be completed and delivered. Make sure they are produced on time!

Execute risk management In every project, there will always be risks, or threats that may hinder the successful completion of the project. A good project manager will execute risk management processes by identifying, analyzing, evaluating and treating potential risks.

Money talks! Saving money in English

Money talks! Saving money in English

Did you know that English can help you save money? The English language is full of advice on how to save for a rainy day. So if you are tired of penny-pinching, read on to learn the meaning of these useful expressions!

Penny-pinching. This expression means to save money, or describes someone who is unwilling to spend money. For example, I have to do some penny-pinching this month if I want to buy that coat!

A penny saved is a penny earned. This means that not spending money is almost the same as earning it because it will still be in your pocket!

The best things in life are free. A similar saying is Money isn't everything, in other words money can't buy the most important things in life, like love or friendship or health.

Saving for a rainy day means putting away money for the future, or saving for an emergency.

Penny wise, pound foolish. This expression describes a person who is extremely careful about spending small amounts of money, but careless when it comes to larger sums.

A fool and his money are soon parted. This proverb reminds us that foolish people do not know how to hold on to their money!

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. This is a famous saying of Benjamin Franklin, meaning if you go to sleep early and wake up early you can get rich!

Money doesn't grow on trees. This expression means that money is not easily obtained. Parents frequently tell their children this if they constantly want to buy things!

Money talks. This is a modern expression which means that money is powerful, or that money makes things happen.

In for a penny, in for a pound. This proverb has come to mean that if you start something you may as well finish it, even if you have to devote much more effort than you expected. The original meaning was that if the punishment is the same, people will commit the offence which brings the greatest profit

Words & Thoughts

Words & Thoughts

Imagine a boxer stepping into the ring, and telling himself:
"I'm a loser. I'm a chicken!"
How long would he last?

Imagine a singer walking onstage, and telling herself:
"I'm pathetic! They'll hate me!"
How well would she sing?

It's a recipe for disaster.

Yet, lots of us use this same recipe every day. We tell ourselves:
"I'm fat."
"I have a rotten memory."
"I'm always broke."
"I'm an idiot."
Then we wonder why we fail!

If you expect to forget, you will forget!
If you expect to be broke, you will stay broke.
If you expect to behave like an idiot ...

So how do we start to think positively?

The first step is to watch your mouth! Notice what you SAY about yourself.

From today, NEVER SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF.
Never tell people: "I'm hopeless, I always screw up, my boyfriends always dump me ..."

Make a commitment: "From today, I will not criticise myself. If I have nothing good to say about me, I will keep my mouth shut."

It's hard to control our thoughts - but we CAN control what comes out of our mouth. Once we take control of our language, we begin to have more positive thoughts ... and life gets better.

We become what we think about!

The Top 10 Confusing English Words

The Top 10 Confusing English Words

Should you accept an invitation or except one? Do you eat dessert or desert after your meal? English is full of confusing words. Here are some tips on using the right word at the right time!

dessert and desert

Dessert is a sweet dish, while the desert is hot, dry and full of sand.

accept and except

To accept means to receive or agree to something, while except means excluding.

there and their

The former is an adverb of place while the latter is a possessive pronoun e.g. Their house is over there.

principle and principal

Principles are beliefs, values or basic truths, while principal means the head of a school, or the main thing.

advice and advise

The former is a noun while the latter is a verb, so you can advise someone by giving them good advice.

borrow and lend

To borrow means to receive something as a loan, while to lend means to give something as a loan. E.g. Can I borrow your car? Sorry, I can't lend it to you today

.

despite and although

These have a similar meaning but are used differently. Despite is a preposition while although is a conjunction. E.g. He won the race despite his injury. He won the race although he had an injury.

affect and effect

The former is a verb while the latter is a noun, e.g. The effect of the war is enormous; it has affected all sectors of the economy.

personal and personnel

Your personal details include your name, age and nationality, while personnel means the employees of a company.

assure and ensure

To assure someone means to remove doubt or reassure them, while ensure means to make certain that something happens. E.g. I assured him that you would be there, so please ensure that you get to the meeting on time.

new year sms

A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year

***

Fill ur life with Happiness & Bright Cheer,
Bring to u Joy and Prosperity for the whole Year,
And it's my New Year wish 4u Dear...
Wish u a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.

***

HAPPY NEW YEAR
Receive my simple gift of "LOVE"
Wrapped with "SINCERITY"
Tied with "CARE" &
Sealed with "DUA"
2 Keep u "HAPPY" & "SAFE" all the life.
HAPPY NEW YEAR....

. A Relaxed Mind, A Peaceful Soul, A Joyful Spirit, A Healthy Body & Heart full of Love..All these are my Prayers for You..Wish a Happy New Year

Happy New Year 2007

Merry Xmas

Christmas
Christmas or Christmas Day is an annual holiday that marks the traditional birthdate of Jesus of Nazareth. Christmas combines the celebration of Jesus' birth with various other traditions and customs, many of which were influenced by ancient winter festivals such as Yule[1] and Saturnalia. Christmas traditions include the display of Nativity scenes and Christmas trees, the exchange of gifts and cards, and the arrival of Father Christmas (Santa Claus) on Christmas Eve. Popular Christmas themes include the promotion of goodwill, giving, compassion, and quality family time.

Christmas Day falls on December 25. It is preceded by Christmas Eve on December 24, and in some countries is followed by Boxing Day on December 26. Some Eastern Orthodox Churches celebrate Christmas on January 7, which corresponds to December 25 on the Julian calendar. December 25 as a birthdate for Jesus is merely traditional, and is not widely considered to be his actual date of birth.[2]

Christmas is celebrated in most countries around the world, owing to the spread of Christianity and Western culture. Various local and regional Christmas traditions are still practiced

Yule is the winter solstice celebration of the Scandinavian Norse mythology and Germanic pagans

Saturnalia is the feast at which the Romans commemorated the dedication of the temple of the god Saturn, which took place on 17 December. Over the years, it expanded to a whole week, up to 23 December..
 

 

Good Wan! Good One!

Good Wan! (Good One!)"  

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ? 

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. 

Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this? 

Caller : I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. 

Operator : Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! 

Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!! 

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh ......God!!! !

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